A letter I just sent to my perinatologist's practice...(Take that Jackass!)

[colliemommie]

Dr. S,

I am writing in regards to one of your medical students, X, in an effort to bring his unprofessional and callous behavior to your attention.

I was at the office this past Monday morning to have an appointment with Dr. W. While my husband and I were waiting in the exam room, this young man came in, introduced himself by his first name only, sat down, and opened conversation by saying "So what's up?" At no point did he identify himself as a medical student, state what his purpose was, or ask my permission to remain in the room.

He then looked at my chart and said "I see this is your second pregnancy. So what happened?"

I do not consider "so what happened" an appropriate way in which to bring up the topic of my missed abortion, which occurred less than six months ago. This is still a very painful and emotional topic, and I resent my loss being treated in such a cavalier fashion.

 I replied that all the information was in my chart. X then said "I'm sure it's all in there, but we need to hear about it from you."

His answer indicated to me that he had not even bothered to look over my chart completely before asking personal questions. Also, I am not sure who "we" was meant to include. X never introduced himself as anyone's agent, nor was he accepted as such by me. One of the reasons that I am a patient of Dr. W particularly is that he attended me this past winter and is familiar with my medical history. I am still grieving this loss and do not "need" to share my personal experiences and be reduced to tears by a complete stranger.

While I understand that Tidewater Perinatal is a teaching practice, as a paying patient any student participation in my care is at my sole discretion. I do not appreciate and will not tolerate the arrogance, unprofessionalism, and complete lack of concern with which I was treated by X. He made it very clear that myself, my current pregnancy, and my dead baby were nothing more to him than a classroom exercise. He never requested my permission to ask questions or remain in the room, but behaved throughout with an air of entitlement and a disregard for my emotions and rights as a patient.

I would strongly suggest that X be monitored in his dealings with patients in the future. He has proven himself unable to live up to the extremely high personal and professional standards I have observed in every member of this practice. I would be sorry to have him continue to needlessly offend and upset your patients in this way.

I am sending a hard copy of this letter to the practice, as well as (the medical school this jackass attends).

Thank you for your attention to this matter. Please feel free to contact me at xxx.xxxx if you have any questions.


Please notice I made it all the way through without using the phrase "Fuck you. Sideways." It was an effort.

I didn't even get into the part where he started asking Bruce quesitons instead of me. Because why bother talking to the pregnant lady when there's a man available?

Comments

[mmegaera.livejournal.com]

Good for you. May the jackass in question have his karma bite him repeatedly.

[filkferengi]

A cacophonous "Copulate you cattywampus!" would've been commensurate. I'm sorry you had to deal with this egregious excrescence, but brava! for handling it in such a mature & professional way. You definitely deserve some extra LMB-reading time.

What kind[s] of music do you like? Does your internet connection let you download?

[duckduckcaboose.livejournal.com]

I can't believe that you were able to keep such a calm tone, considering the harsh manner in which you were treated. I cannot even imagine being in your place. I really hope that they give your letter some serious consideration because if I were in your situation, I'd probably have kicked the guy in the crotch and stood outside the hospital protesting till I got arrested.

[colliemommie.livejournal.com]

I waited three days to write the letter, just so I could be calm and articulate enough to be taken seriously. Didn't want any "crazy pregnant woman" reactions.

The only reason I didn't flip out is that I was in such shock. I couldn't believe anyone pretending to be a healthcare provider would act like that. I did pitch a screaming fit after he left the room and I recovered a little. I think the main theme was "Get him back in here and I'll give the fucker a learning experience!"

Between his supervisor, the head of the practice (who is my doctor), and the Dean of Students at the med school, I sincerely hope he gets his ass handed to him.