The Love, Blood, and Rhetoric School

To continue with the rampant silliness of the past week, I showed the ultrasound pics to my brother. He got the strangest look on his face. So I immediately started channelling Tossie from To Say Nothing of the Dog and indulged in disgusting levels of baby talk all abbout "isn't umms the cewwwtest widdle babykins ever?!!" I'm sure it sounded like I swallowed a Lolcat.

Jack pulls himself together and starts with the "oh yeah Nic, it's really cute". Really a valiant attempt.

So we get into the car to drive over to Mom's when I had to give in. I told him not to worry, I know the baby looks like the Predator, and I actually think it's funny.

"Oh thank God," he says, stopping holding his breath. "That is exactly what I was thinking, but I really didn't want to hurt your feelings...or have you hurt me."

I commended him on knowledge beyond his years and marital status, and then we spent the rest of the drive fantasizing about how cool it would be to have a baby Predator in the family. I'm starting to worry people will be disappointed if it turns out to just be human.

Yesterday we went to the doctor to get an NT screening. The idea is that by measuring the back of the baby's neck between 11 and 13 weeks, plus a blood test, the lab can give odds on this particular baby having Downs Syndrome. The Muffin was no cooperating, but we did get a full 15 minutes of watching it jump around. There was waving, kicking, spinning, hiccups, finger sucking and tongue sticking-out. It was a lot of fun, except that I now have one giant bruise where my left ovary used to be.

Dad and I had a conversation several weeks ago that basically revolved around "Are you sure it's not a puppy?" All embyoes look the same, whether they're lizard, pig, or human, and my father refused to get excited until I could tell him which species I was carrying. Well, the muffin already looks human in profile, and has the expected number of fingers and limbs. But here is the little critter face-on as of yesterday:

Now, I'm not given to wild theories, but this ultrasound, plus my pregnancy blackouts, plus watching 4 seasons of X-Files in a row has me thinking. I regularly lose time and wake up with upholestery marks on my face and no idea how I got there, which we all know is a prime indication of alien abduction. I'm thinking that I should ask them to wand me very carefully at the airport tomorrow...there may be a chip somewhere I haven't found. Probably somewhere in my chest; it's all bumpity lately and I think the whole "it's just the hormones" thing is a government cover-up.

Having come to this conclusion, I do what any sensible woman does: I called my Daddy. I told him that the baby was human. Well, humanoid. It might very well be an alien.

"Huh," he says. "Reptilian or insectoid?"

"Reptilian."

"Good. I'm open-minded but no grandkid of mine is going to have compound eyes." Pause. "So, what is it?"

"Like male or female you mean?"

"No. Like what is it."

"Can't tell yet, Dad. I'm hoping for a Predator."

"Ooh, that would be great...I could take it hunting!"

What would we do during these stressful and life-changing times without our families? I love my Dad so much.



x-posted to 

pregnant

I'm not sure what it is about this particular used book store in Robinson, but I turn into some little goblin-creature whenever I'm there.  I scuttle around, clutching volumes to my chest, gibbering, squeaking, and going "mine mine mine" and, occasionally, giggling maniacally.

I am at a loss to recall any other place where I scuttle. But it gives great enjoyment to whoever has come with me, and I got some great prices on hardcovers to replace some paperbacks that are falling to shreds.


BTW - is or has someone recently started publishing past Hugo winners in hardcover?  I saw Memory and The Doomsbday Book in matching unfamiliar covers with 50th Anniversary of something or other logos on them.

Got this in an email today, and it just begs to be shared: it's Don McLean's "American Pie" as sund by Hamlet.  I think the choruses just get better as they go.

Shakespearean Pie

The link has both lyrics and the free audio file.